Shock. Happiness. Fear. Glee. Anticipation. As my body experienced so many emotions all at the same time, I fear I went into some sort of emotional overdrive. I wanted to shout “I LOVE YOU TOO!!” but the sudden influx of so many emotions rendered me speechless. I literally froze.
Joey loved me. He said it. I heard it. He meant it. I knew it. We felt it.
His words took me off guard. I never would have thought that three little words could bring with them such an exotic blend of emotions. Along with utter joy, excitement and trepidation, did I too feel LOVE?
L-O-V-E. Four small letters that make up a pretty big word. Love held a lot of weight to it. Did I have the muscle to carry it? It definitely meant more than googly-eyes and butterflies in the stomach.
But as we sat in silence for a while, I suddenly realized I had no butterflies in my stomach. They were gone. His words somehow brought with them a calm. It seems the depth of his words had sunk in. He loved me. He wanted what was best for me. He knew my strengths and loved me because of them. He knew my weaknesses and loved me in spite of them. He saw me as a treasure, precious in his eyes. He saw me as worth putting himself out there and saying “I love you” even if he got nothing back in return.
I loved this man who loved me. I wanted what was best for him. I knew his strengths and loved each one of them. I knew his weaknesses and loved him in spite of them. I saw him as a hero, worthy of my respect. I knew he deserved to hear the words “I love you” from me just as I heard them from him.
I didn’t exactly want to just look at him and say “Ditto - Back at ya, Babe!” I wanted my words to be just as true and heartfelt as his words to me.
So I squeezed his had a few times.
Then I let him in on a little family secret from my childhood. “You know in my family, when we would squeeze each other’s hand a few times fast, it meant that we loved that person.” Then I looked him in the eyes and said “I love you Joey.”
I don’t know exactly how my words made him feel, but I know he was happy. And this made me happy.
Not too long after this, however, his mom came outside to tell us it was late and my mom was on the phone worried about me. We walked to the front door and hugged one last time. Then Joey reached down, picked me up, and carried me back to my car.
“Goodbye, Kelly. I love you!”
“I love you too!”
When I got home, I poked my head in the door of my parents bedroom. “So so so sorry to be out so late... but guess what? I LOVE Joey!”
