While driving to Branson, MO for a winter student conference put on by Student Mobilization, Kim listened to me as I told story after story of my experiences over the previous summer in Russia. She was a good listener and an excellent question-asker so the conversation went on for quite a while. Then as it ended she threw this final question out:
"If you loved it so much, why aren't you planning to go back this summer?"
Silence.
I didn't have a good answer to that question, so it would continue to linger in my mind throughout the duration of our trip. The conference was very moving and stretched and grew me in my walk with the Lord. I took a lot of insight away from the conference, but I also took away something else.
An application.
An application to serve as a missionary with Student Mobilization for two and a half months overseas during the coming summer. I couldn't shake Kim's words throughout the entire conference so when someone got up to speak about summer opportunities to serve in the Ukraine, my ears perked up and the hairs on my arms stood at attention. Ukraine was formerly part of the Soviet Union and sits right next to Russia. My elementary knowledge of Russian and the love of the people would prove useful. I enrolled in a Russian language course and began preparing myself for yet another summer of serving overseas.
This would prove to be a summer much different than the summer previous. For one, there were only seven people on our team. Three girls and four guys. We would arrive in the Ukraine and meet up with Steve Shadrach, the founder of Student Mobilization who had spent the entire year in Ukraine with his family. We were quickly settled into apartments in Kharkov, Ukraine, where we began to learn how to survive in a foreign country and culture. We participated and joined in to help lead a college campus ministry in Kharkov.
Since we were all still new to the language, we were each paired with a Ukrainian ministry partner/translator. Mine was Olya. I could not have hand picked a better partner. Olya and I became almost instant best friends. Since I was the youngest on our team and she was the youngest translator, we were paired together. She coached me in the language and culture and I coached her in sharing her faith, but we shared so much more. She taught me how to buy bread daily at the kiosk outside our apartment. She showed me how to effectively navigate the public transport busses. She educated me in the proper way to make Ukrainian pancakes. She even giggled with me when a complete stranger handed me a single long stem rose as a act of affection for an obvious foreigner in his country. I just pretended it was a rose from Joey. One night, I was asked to share about love and purity to the girls who attended our campus ministry event. I enjoyed sharing Joey and my story and the Lord's leading in our lives and the girls loved hearing a real life God-honoring love story, but sharing it made me miss him even more.
The Lord graciously calmed my concerns about our relationship by directing me to Philippians 4:6-7. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
I worried that Lord may call me to spend more than just my summers overseas. What if he called me into full time ministry in Russia or the Ukraine? What if He didn't call Joey to do the same? What about marriage? If I thought about any of these things too much, I fell into the trap of anxiety. But the simple words in Philippians rang true. I needed to heed the advice to not be anxious and I present my requests to the Lord in prayer. So that is what I did. A lot. As I handed my worries over to the Lord, He blessed me with that peace that verse 7 speaks of - the kind of peace that guards hearts and transcends understanding. The peace that I felt was beyond human understanding and I trusted the Lord with my tender heart.
One of the couples on full time staff in Kharkov had email, so Joey and I were able to exchange a few emails over the long summer apart. This is part of the text of one:
Hi Kelly,
Before I say anything I want you to know that I MISS YOU more than I ever thought possible. I remember trying to think of what it would be like to live without you for over two long months, but I think that my subconscious mind, in an effort to prevent me from falling into an irrevocable depression, would not allow me to get so far. However, now I find myself facing the fact that I'm here and you're not. There have been countless times (including right now: 7-5-96, 9:48 pm) that I have stopped and thought "It just does not seem right that Kelly isn't here." Countless times. Wow,I have so much to say! Forgive me if this letter is a little hard to follow, but I'm stringing thoughts together to make sure I don't forget anything. Anyway, don't get me wrong, I know that it is our Father's will that you are where you are, and I am where I am, and that it's best for us. I just miss you a lot. I've been to your parent's house, Ive watched some great fireworks, I've been on the Hillcrest Helipad, I've been to Mexico, Ive been 750 feet below Carlsbad, NM, I've been to church, and I've stood in my back yard and watched a very beautiful sunset, and I'be wanted yo with me every minute. Every night when I go to bed I remember that you are just getting up and pray for your safe-keeping and enjoyment while you're gone. From what I hear, you are doing great. I'm very happy for you. I really am. Sure, there are probably times that you get feeling homesick; I know I would. But just remember that you are not alone over there. Our Father sees both our hearts right this very moment and knows exactly how to console us, or make us even happier than we are. He loves us both and will not let anything happen that He hasn't planned on. Anyway, about what's going on here...
I miss you very much and will write you again as soon as I can. Keep focused on your ministry and over the Lord's will. It will be very soon when we see each other next, but even sooner when the Lord returns as far as the eternal souls of those people over there are concerned, so fight the good fight.
If absence makes the heart grow fonder, you'd better get back here now because I don't think my heart can grow any more without breaking! I love you very much and am constantly praying for you. May our Father in Heaven bless and keep you, and me.
Love,
Joey
I treasured his words and prayed for the Lord to guard and protect Joey's heart as well.
Thanks for reading this far. It's not over, I just haven't had the time to write out the rest of our story. Be patient. It will be worth it. ~Kelly (Feb 14, 2016)
