Joey officially wasn’t allowed to date until he was sixteen either. But for some reason, both our parents approved of this one. My dad’s only stipulation was that Joey had to go through what any boy who wanted to date one of his daughters went through - a man to man talk.
My dad was not the type to carry a gun or try to purposely scare off dates. He was simply interested in finding out about Joey’s heart for the Lord and sharing with him some of his own thoughts about how to keep Christ at the center of a relationship. Sitting down with Joey at Braums one night prior to our first date, my dad explained to Joey a few simple tips about relationships. He got out a pen and drew a triangle on a Braums napkin. "God is at the top, Joey and Kelly at each of the bottom corners," he said. He pointed out the importance of keeping God in the triangle/relationship and how as each person grows closer to God, they will subsequently grow closer to each other. Then he scribbled down three questions and said "Joey, there are three questions you can ask yourself before you do anything with my daughter."
1. What will it do to God? (Grieve him or glorify him?)
2. What will it do to others? (Be a stumbling block or a testimony?)
3. What will it do to me? (Build me up or tear me down?)
I remember feeling proud that my dad took the time to do this sort of thing for me but also feeling a little nervous for Joey. In reality, Joey had nothing to worry about. Truth be told, if my dad could have hand picked someone for me to marry, he would have picked Joey. He actually told me so. This, however, is not the type of thing you share with a fifteen year old guy on your first date, so I decided to keep silent about it.
April’s date for the evening picked up Joey and drove him to our house. They pulled up in a white sports car. I know this because I was eagerly watching from my parent’s bedroom window.
My heart fluttered a little bit as I watched Joey get out of the car and walk to the door carrying a corsage for me. My first corsage. My first date. I couldn’t help but wonder what other “firsts” were in store for me this night.
From my perspective, the date went off rather well. Joey opened doors for me like a gentleman and frequently proved his clever wit during our conversations. I didn’t gag or throw up when I tasted shrimp for the first time.
From Joey’s perspective, however, this was not the first date he envisioned. Having to hitch a ride with April and her all too cool date made Joey feel inferior, young, and silly. Sharing our first banquet together surrounded by our peers, our pastors, and not to mention our parents, made Joey feel like we were being watched and oohed and aahhed over. No. This was not the first date he had in mind.
As he dropped me off from that first date, Joey felt deflated. His ego was low. He felt a bit silly. Although I wasn’t privy to any of these thoughts going through his mind, I knew one thing. I knew I liked this guy named Joey. So there, on my front porch, I thanked him. I told him that I had a very nice time and I was glad he asked me to be his date for the evening. Then I did something unlike me. I stepped forward and reached out to hug him. He responded quickly by hugging me back. It wasn’t a long hug, but I felt him take a deep breath.
When the hug concluded, I stepped back and looked at him. It was a look of excitement mixed with trepidation. We both knew something special had just happened. Awkwardly, we both said goodbye at the exactly the same time, laughed, and then went our separate ways - me to the house, him to the car.
Joey was taller as he walked out to the car where April’s date was waiting to drive him home. He no longer felt silly or inferior or young. He had just taken the girl of his dreams out on their first date. This was the girl he had liked for a very long time. And now, based off that hug she just initiated and the look in her eyes, he had the sneaking suspicion that she liked him too.
